I have started three businesses in the past twenty years.
The first one because I was made redundant. It was scary. I didn’t plan any of it - I took a few projects to bridge the gap, and somewhere in those months I noticed that I actually liked it.
The second one because the company I worked for changed direction and there was no place left for me. Scared again.
Both of those are easy to tell. People nod when they hear it.
The third one I still find harder to explain.
Nothing happened. Nothing went wrong. The projects were there, the clients were there, the work was good, I was successful. And I sat in front of my laptop doing the same kind of project I had done so many times before. Computers, software, systems... and I realized: I want to work with people.
That was the whole reason.
When there is nothing to point at
It took me a long time to say that out loud, because it sounds like nothing, doesn’t it.
Nobody could see anything. And when there is nothing to point at, you start to wonder whether you are just being difficult. Ungrateful. Too much.
You are not difficult... you are noticing something.
You are not broken… You are in transition.
The part nobody tells you
You make the brave choice. You leave the thing that stopped fitting. And then, what mostly what comes first is just the work. Quiet months. Feeling alone. Learning. Starting again, aligning, trying again.
The choice can be right, and still not feel like arriving.
I am sure I am in the right place. I am not sure I have arrived at enjoying it yet... and those are two different things. The second one takes longer than anyone admits.
This is also transition. It’s ok.
You don’t need a reason anybody else can see. You don’t need a crisis to justify wanting something different. Not every leaving is an escape. Sometimes it is a moving towards.
One step at a time. Gently.
I talked about a bit of this on Bites & Business Radio. - The quieter parts I keep for here.